Beautiful Lady!!!

She is beautiful, isn’t she?

What is most striking thing in her?

I have contacts…

                               A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered “Well, I have contacts.” The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”

 contacts (n):lenses                                                                                                                                                                                                              ticket (n): [Colloq.] a summons to court for a traffic violation


   A teacher set an arithmetic problem. “You have six pounds in your pocket. You lose four. What do you have in your pocket?” Quickly came the answer – “A hole.”

Reason for not going to school

 “Dad, I don’t want to go to school today.” said the boy. “Why not, son?” “Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.” “But why don’t you want to go today?” “Because our English teacher died yesterday!




Every day, an ESL teacher was seen coming out of the rest room with a marker, used for writing. In the rest room were expressions and graffitti written on the walls. It was very bad. Finally, the Director of the school called the teacher into the office and told the teacher that it was terrible of him to write those things on the walls. The teacher said that he was not the one writing those things. All that the teacher did was to correct the grammar. grafitti (n): a piece writing on a wall

Biting Dog

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?” The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.” The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!” The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”

cute:(adj) nice

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Simple Present Tense